I went to a birthday party recently for a 5 year old and it was at 2:30 in the afternoon at a bowling alley on a gorgeous sunny Sunday in August...in Seattle! The wrongness of this appointment transcends so many levels, but surely if you've lived in Seattle for more than one summer you'll understand most of my angst. I'd already made up my mind that we had a hard stop after an hour, even though the party was scheduled to last until 4:30. In my head I had my "to-do" list (both personal and professional) and in order to hit those milestones and wring the last little bit of enjoyment out of my weekend (reiterating the sunny and warm part)...
Any of this sound familiar?
I was so busy checking things off of my list that I'd inadvertently decided I wasn't going to enjoy spending time with other parents (who probably felt the same as I did) or get a couple of hours of enjoyment watching my kids having a good time with other kids. I caught myself getting all spun-up on the drive to the bowling alley and quickly decided that for my part, that would be a suck way to spend two hours of my life. With less difficulty than I had imagined I committed to engaging with other parents, enjoying my wife and kids and PRESTO!, we were there for the duration, had a good time and were still able to do what I wanted afterward.
Fast forward and now it's Monday. I'm looking around and I see people scurrying around their offices looking as busy with their "lists" as I felt at the bowling alley the day before with mine. "Have to; Got to; must finish by EOD or else" are all lead-ins I heard throughout the day. Curiously absent were, "Want to; Get to; can't wait to finish and show my client" etc. It dawned on me that a lot of us are confusing activity with productivity. As my wife will occasionally ask, "is your journey satisfying, or are you just arriving at your destination?" Do you spend your energy rushing through your list of daily chores such that you feel tired but unsatisfied at the end of the day? Are you so focused on getting to the next thing on your list that you fail to appreciate the quality required of you and necessary for the task at hand? Do you ever imagine that any of the world's great successes in business, art or science subscribed to that model?
I know, a lot of questions. At the risk of going all Zen with my suggestion, maybe take an extra moment to focus on doing well anything you're doing (month-end reports, job hunting, sales calls, code reviews, being a parent at a bowling-birthday-party-for-kids, etc) and hold yourself accountable. I'm suggesting you really plug yourself into the equation. Get completely into it as opposed to just getting through it and then, whether at work, play or some destination in between, occasionally ask yourself, " is this journey satisfying?" vinny
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