De-mystifying the in-person interview

Occasionally, I'll talk to a candidate that does so well on the phone portion of the interviews that it's tempting to just schedule the face-to-face without any additional counseling because, c'mon, they got past me and  a technical interviewer, they should be ready.  Erring on the side of caution though, my approach has always been to figure out what the candidate needs to be comfortable and prepared for the meeting and then...I just give it to them!  Title, personality style, hot buttons, etc., I mean, what are we afraid of, that the interview will go so well that we'll have to put together that ratty new-hire paperwork and schedule a slot in new-employee orientation? :)

Years ago a colleague of mine chided me for what he considered my 'prepping' of a candidate and reminded me that as a corporate recruiter, my job was to 'interview' candidates not to prep them.  I thought about what he said and considered that I might be offering too much in what I was providing, but my closing ratios suggested otherwise.  I wasn't teaching my candidates to write algorithms or choose the appropriate data structure.  What I was doing was helping them navigate the interview process, so that what they were demonstrating, during the course of the interview, was their ability to do the job vs trying to figure out the magic answer to the tricky interview questions they were being asked.

I'll let you in on a little secret, if you rocked the phone portions of any interview, a lot of the grilling has already been done and what the company is looking to determine by having you in is how you present yourself and whether the team likes you.  Yes, it could be that they didn't fully vet you technically or intellectually but clearly, a lot of it's to determine if you fit.

Anyone that's read my previous stuff will recognize this suggestion: don't treat the interview as an interrogation or even an interview but instead plug yourself into the equation and pretend it's your first day on the job.  You've been consulting by phone and now's your chance to meet the rest of the team and show them why you're the smart hire.  I caution everyone, as much as anyone will listen, to be 'themselves' and will inevitably hear,  "but what if I don't get the offer?" The hard truth may be that it probably wasn't a great fit if they don't want to hire you for being you but let's come at this from a different angle.   What if instead of focusing solely on selling yourself you devoted some of your focus to learning more about the styles and preferences of the people you're hoping will soon be co-workers?  How might you mutually benefit by understanding and connecting your styles?

My oldest by a minute says to me, "the kids at my new school don't like me!" I ask him why and he says, "they don't like to run around and play Sonic (don't worry that you don't get the reference). "What do they like to play?" I ask.  "Football, soccer, tag, etc." he offers.  Me to him, "Not liking the game or style of game isn't the same as not liking the person. Did you ever think about playing the game they want to play until they get to know you better, and then maybe they'll like you so much they'll play whatever you choose?  In the meantime, the worst that can happen is you'll learn a lot of new games and a lot more about the people you're playing with while you're playing with them."
...vinny

Life Keeps Score and FYI, not everyone gets a trophy...

My oldest by a minute was working with his mother on a first grade project the other evening that for a week allows him to be the "Superstar" of his classroom.  Pretty heady stuff when you're not quite 7 but also very telling when you're a parent listening to your child describe who they think they are.

"Post your picture and tell us your favorite, food/color/fun thing to do and please share with us 3 supercool facts about you that we don't already know, etc."  In my mind I had all of these blanks filled in for him and he started down that track but then he did something incredibly honest and at my wife's encouragement, he told us who he really is.

When's the last time you tried that, the being completely honest part, without fear of recrimination or negative judgement of some sort?  Wow, right?!

Turns out one of the earth shattering things I learned is that he doesn't consider himself an athlete because he really doesn't like win/lose games even though he admits he thinks he's "pretty fast".  T-ball...the league didn't keep score and everyone played.  Soccer...nope, no goal keepers and no scores kept by this league either.  Cross Country?  Bunch a kids running for the finish line but everyone's a winner for having participated with a ribbon to prove it.  Is it really that he doesn't like competition?  I'll go with yes and explain. 

Winners are aggressive and have attitude.  They're always showing off how physically superior/educated/talented they are and drawing all sorts of attention. They aren't good sports and make others feel bad for losing. 

I'm not going to say that all of these statements are false but I'm going to put some spin on it because I think being aggressive can be a good trait and that a positive attitude is still an attitude.  I believe that giving others something to shoot for with respect to improving performance, physical or mental isn't necessarily a bad thing and that how you feel about losing has more to do with you than the person who won.

Weird that we stand out there with our coffees on Saturday morning cheering on every kid regardless of which side they're on in whichever seasonal, non-competitive activity yet all the kids on all the teams know who can hit and who can't; who scored goals and how many; and who the first kid across the finish line was, oh...and so do the parents. 

Why are we so afraid to admit that we do keep score and that winning really does feel better than losing?! Why are we teaching our children that competition is bad, and that winning isn't to be enjoyed unless everyone wins?  Me being as honest as a 6 year old?  Losing sucks and I don't care how many losers you surround yourself with.  If you've ever been part of a layoff or fired you know what I mean and no amount of "it wasn't my fault" will make you feel better or pay the mortgage.

How does promoting a "there's not one winner, we're all winners" mentality better the world they're going to inherit?  How will this set them up to succeed if there's no definition of what success is?  We should be teaching future generations how to win graciously and how to set and then exceed their own expectations so as to define success instead of how to be good losers.   Life isn't fair and fair isn't always equal but I assure you, regardless of the endeavor, someone is keeping score and your employer is one of them.

As for the ribbon he won for showing up?  It  meant so much that I found it later the next day on the backseat floor of the car..vinny